December 31, 2011

Twenty -11 into Twenty-12

Category: Random

Three years of blogging and despite the dwindling number of posts I published on a monthly basis since I first started, I am still beaming with glee that to date, I still have not run out of things to say.

I guess that can only be a good thing.

While I sometimes do hit a mental-block in trying to figure out what to write, there are always the random, mundane but sometimes funny every-day stuff which I may be able to count on to add to my daily musings and thoughts.

I’ll remember 2011 as the year in which I struggle with a lot of work-life challenges as I cope with the toxic environment of negative office politics while  I try to maintain some sense of  sanity in my work-life-baby balance.

For a while now, unbeknown to most, the negativity at work got under my skin so bad that I lose my self-confidence as a qualified professional in my industry.Somehow, there seem to be a force strong enough to make my every day work life a living hell with the existence of an “upper-hand”; mainly in the form of very unsavoury and uncalled for behaviors and/or remarks being hurled towards me. Not for any particular reasons that I know of, but “just because” this person can.

I began to question myself and my capability as I got bullied into a corner I can’t seem to get out of. It was not healthy. I was at my lowest low.

Despite having my fair share of nasty and wicked clients in my more than a decade of experience in this industry, I have never experienced first-hand a very negative office environment for months on end where I witnessed (and personally experienced) several cases of utter unfairness,  “effective” bullying, dramatised story-lines and exaggerated pretension driven by just one person.

The “competition”  perpetrated within was unhealthy, making the local Thais feel small, and me feel incompetent as someone else gets singled out for most of the time with what seemed like a preferential treatment.

It was a rather tough time for me as decisions were made to pull subordinates out of my team. In my absence. Twice. Leaving me and 2 other remaining members to sort out all the shit, while I try to deflect the poisonous arrows that come my way when they do.

I’d like to believe that karma exists and from my observation, all that happened to me in the work place was just a classic case of bullying and I happen to be the flavour of the month(s).

While it still happens every now and then (lesser these days), I’d like to think that I have come out of it stronger by  merely disassociating myself with people whom I don’t give a crap about. While I acknowledge that while this person still has authority over me, I am adamant that my life is not going to be destroyed just because of how they behave towards me while this person lobbies support for their camp as they need to feel so much more superior and smarter than everyone else.

I have since peeled myself away from all that nonsense and am now only associating myself with them on a “need-to” basis.

They are exactly the type of people I don’t desire to be friends with or have any respect for. To put it in my context, I am, after all, an introvert in the extroverts’ world. They don’t add value to my life, and besides, I have better things to worry about.

I don’t foresee Twenty-12 being a breeze for me on the work-front, but Twenty-11 has left me with a lot of new enlightenment not only as a person, but as a wife and as a mother.  I have come out the other end a little scarred, but unscathed…hopefully with a lot more wits about me from the school of life. 

The journey of life continues and to my readers out there, thank you once again for your readership, contribution and most of all for being on this journey with me so far.

Here’s wishing you all a fabulous holiday season, and may the joy and happiness follow you all the way through 2012. Happy New Year!

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