It’s been two crazy roller-coaster months since the last check-in on how I’m continuing to foster my one word challenge of Absolution, and I’m missing the 1st Thursday updates for 2 straight months now. Being busy with work (and it’s really, really true!) has been a pathetic excuse to escape from myself.
There has been troughs of downs, with not very high highs. The journey has been rough and I have been on a long, winding road with a spanner thrown into a moving wheel to get to a point of acceptance…an important state of being to perpetuate inner peace.
Part of me, actually, a whole lot part of me hates it, rejects it even – after all, why should I just be accepting of things that don’t and cannot sit well with me? I almost convinced myself that this is nuts and I have no reason to continue further in fostering absolution.
But, I have gotten this far. I need to move forward. I need to believe that acceptance in its entirety is a good step towards my personal challenge to harness compassion and dumb-down my contempt…
…believing that I could and would eventually get there.
I think I’m getting there.
The pain I once felt has gotten lesser. Much lesser, but it does not mean that it isn’t there. I’ll have to fake it to make it. And being able to write this down is more of a testament to myself that I’ll be alright…hopeful that all of the pieces will one day stick back together. I want to feel whole again.
My life’s been pretty crazy-wild. I guess, once you have been down in the shit-holes, the only way is really just up – flicking shit away with one back-hand swat at a time.
One Word Challenge – Choose just one word, instead of making empty resolutions, to meditate upon and be driven towards for the entire year. Use this word as inspiration throughout the year to make yourself and the world better. You set the rules.