There MUST be some sort of allergens in the air which have sent toddlers on a complete out-of-this-world-meltdowns and parents on the brink of insanity this week. Or it’s just the fact that school has been out for a week and that the kids have been bored shitless last week. (School’s back in now. Phew!)
Either way, the Grubbs ‘n Critters residence has been swamped by massive temper-tantrums of a 4.5 year old who goes into complete meltdowns with screams that brought the whole house down, day-in, day-out, sparked by the smallest things…like when…
…she wasn’t the first one to get out of bed
… or that her blanket wasn’t straightened from end to end
… or that a spoonful of milk into her cereal was just waaay too much milk
….or that she wanted the water from the cooler and not the bottled water.
One of the worse always happens when her little brother beat her to opening the door or pressing the button for the elevator, or getting to the car first.
Spud gets upset to the point where she snaps right out, even when one of her foot was just a nano-second away from her brother’s before she stepped into the elevator (or the car). Not being able to press the floor button or that stupid button on the car door would set her off . Practically everything is a recipe for disaster and a start of a woeful, crying day. Every single tiny thing leads to a disaster that could go on for a full hour. So.not.funny.
And, we faced this every goddamn day in the last week or so: the first thing she wakes up in the morning, and the last thing before she goes to bed. It recently happened the moment we walked into our front door after stressful day at work; when all I want to do was shower them with hugs and kisses because I was so looking forward to see them after a long day, and only to be greeted by screams and tantrums the moment we walked in. It makes me want to run back to the office and lock myself in there.
No, I haven’t quite nailed this crazy art called parenting, and it won’t be the first time we’ll be at our wits end as to how we should handle our spirited, strong-willed child. Because every time we thought we handled it, she upped her ante.
I have to remind myself that this is just a phase and that this too shall pass…
Today, I was greeted by a piece on parenting advice from Stomper Dad and I thought that I’ll re-blog his post as a reminder to keep myself centered after being gunned down with full-on tantrums over several days continously.
1. Time is a gift. Give them your time.
The Berenstain Bears got the gimmies, so can our kids. It’s easy to fall into their trap, especially if they ask so nicely with their best manners. However, they’ll cherish the time you spend with them far more than that toy. Draw with them. Hide and Seek with them. Teach them to play a card game – War and Go Fish are super easy. Take them outside. The possibilities are endless. The more engaged you are, the less likely they are to go looking for trouble (in my experience, anyway).
2. Read to them. Teach them to read.
It’s the teacher in me, I guess. Read to them frequently. Teach them to read. Teach them to understand what they read. Bang is now three and a half and he has fourteen words on his sight words list. Some of them he can spell without his list. He could probably have more if we worked on it more often. But we get distracted playing “run and tickle”.
3. Inspire creativity
Albert Einstein said, “Imagination is more important than knowledge. For knowledge is limited to all we now know and understand, while imagination embraces the entire world, and all there ever will be to know and understand.” In other words, knowledge only embraces what we have already learned. It’s our imagination to leads us to new understandings. Inspire your child’s creativity and you’ll build upon their imagination and who knows what you’ll learn!
4. Document. Funny things they say. Milestones and firsts.
We all know kids say the darnedest things. Write them down. Last year we had a jar and every time something funny happened, someone said one of their darnedest things or something memorable happened we’d write it on a scrap of paper and put it in the jar. Come December 31 or the New Year we opened the jar and read all the fun things we said and did over the past year.
Ann: Things like this I make sure they go on my blog, a habit I started since Spud said her first words. It is one of the most precious things and I could always use it as blackmail later!
5. Don’t mistake who you are.
No matter how you parent, don’t think you are doing it wrong. We all get something wrong now and then. There is no “perfect parent”. Of course, there are some that might need a bit of help. We’re not here to judge them, though. But if your kids are happy, healthy, clean, fed and well rested, you’re doing all right. Never mind the latest trends, the latest uproars and do what is best for you and your kids (Except for vaccinations. Vaccinate your kids).
Ann: I do what I can and I’m*still* learning the ropes. My only hope is that I don’t screw up. Every once in a while though, I do wonder if the doctor had given me the wrong baby.
Lastly, you are not alone. Whatever troubles you’re facing with your kids, there are hundreds more with the exact same problem.
To his last sentence here, I take heed that there could also be hundreds more with worse problem that we are facing, and that at the end of the day, despite the horrendous tantrums, we are still blessed with kids who are healthy, well and sometimes not so happy because they don’t get what they want. (Suck it up, kids. Suck it up!).
Oh yes! Sometimes, I really do want to hang them up on the clothes line too. It sure does look more fun than having a time-out. Their only consolation is that we live on a high floor and there is no-way, no-how am I allowing them near the balcony.
Stomper Dad’s original article can be found here.
