Kids being kids, they always manage to come up with something original yet unintentionally funny. When they do, I always make it a point to note as precisely as I could what they blabbed out. With a 5.5-year-old and a 3.5-year-old in tow, we’ve been blessed with many a candid moment that left us laughing our asses off. 

Other times, the words they blurted out seem so innocent. Yet they left us scratching our heads and wondering how at such a young age, they are able to articulate or think of something to say that seemed a little too wise for their tiny bodies. 

Recently, Spud had us a little stumped as she blurted a whole sentence out in one breath from the back of the car whilst Silver Bullet was driving:

Spud: Mama, I keep thinking about the things that I don’t want to think and I try to think about something else and all it does is keep coming back and I cannot stop thinking about the thing that I don’t want to think about. Don’t know why.

Me, laughing (and thinking “what?! where did that come from?”): That’s quite a mouthful. Can you say it again. Slowly. 

Spud repeated what she said all.in.one.breath.

Me: Hmmm..like what? What are you thinking about?

Spud: The jab. I don’t want to think about that. But it keeps coming back to my brain.

Me, still laughing: Yeah…well… that happens. Sometimes, you just have to tell yourself to think about other things.

Spud: I’m trying. But it keeps coming back. I don’t want to think about that. I don’t like it. 

Silver Bullet, laughing: Yeah…that happens…jab is awful but you don’t have to keep thinking about it. You won’t be getting any jabs anytime soon. 

Spud: I think I will talk to Squirt about other things, then maybe I won’t think about it

Silver Bullet: That could help. 

Meantime, both of us were still laughing silently with our eyebrows furrowed…

For the life of me, I couldn’t remember what Spud had said word-for-word, but I knew it was just one of her chatters that I want to keep a record of. And when we got home, I asked her if she remembered what she had said. As I got my laptop ready, she rattled it all off again without a pause and left me typing so fast that I could barely catch up! The kid rendered me speechless. 

In another moment while sitting on the couch and snuggling with the kids before bedtime:

Me: Squirt, can you move your elbow and shift a little bit so there’s a little bit more space for me? 

Squirt: Wait. I need to scratch my wee-wee. It’s very itchy. (He proceeded to put his hands in his pants and scratched his penis before moving away for a few inches)

Me, laughing and half-rolling my eye-balls: Right. Just don’t do that in public when you are 15. (or whatever age that deems it as inappropriate)

Squirt: But it’s itchy. I have to scratch!

All right, boy. Thank goodness you are not even 4 yet!

And the first time Squirt made a discovery of his bodily function whilst in the shower. He was about 2 years old: 

Squirt (with a big, fat grin on his face and squealing in glee): I have big wee-wee! I have big wee-wee!

Me (…and thinking “oh dear me! How should I respond to this! Should I even respond?”): OK. I see that. Just don’t go around telling everyone that when you are older. 

That, of course, continued for days on end. I guess he just could not help himself but I found myself trying to keep a stoic face while trying oh-so-hard not to die laughing when I heard it the first time.

He has stopped with his announcements all on his own accord by now. Yet each time I catch him playing with his penis and then starts grinning like it is such a wonderful surprise, I wonder what goes through his mind.  It also makes me wonder what other parents do and what could have been the appropriate response. It was, after all, age-appropriate and completely acceptable. 

With many a comedic moment from our little imps, who needs clowns when you have got one or a few of your own? And as we have discovered, the unexpected (comedic) ones always make the best moments to be remembered for the years to come. Life is good with kids. 

Got your parenting kids’ chatter moments to share?  Please leave your comments and tell us about it. I’d love to hear the funny and unexpected chatters you’ve experienced!