222: Is the number of blog posts left unread in my mailbox. Tons more if I include those from my WordPress reader.

2:  Was how long ago in weeks since I wrote a new blog post to fill up the gaps in between my scheduled posts.

10: is the number of days since I logged in to my dashboard (up until last weekend)

13: Is the pathetic number of posts I have only managed to publish last month. One of the lowest ever recorded.

ZERO: Is the number of blogs I have visited and commented in the last few weeks. 

Not because I have no interest to read, comment or have nothing to write about, but because, work has pretty much kept me completely away from blogging time.  Work has spiraled out of control; far too much for my liking and way too much than I could cope. I have fallen off the band-wagon (from blogging) and I hate it.

If my working hours had been bad in the last 3 months, the last 3 weeks had been even worse. I clocked more than 15 hours a day at a time and I got by with no more than 3-5 hours of sleep every day. Weekends included.

To add on to that, both Spud and Squirt took turns falling sick. Squirt had dengue 2 weeks ago with very high fever for a couple of days (in the midst of my crazy work deadlines) and continued with some dull fever for a few more days. We did not know it was dengue then, and thought that it was just one of the regular colds he’d gotten from one of his classmates.  Even with fever, he has been quite active and bouncing off the walls – not quite symptomatic of dengue. The first visit to the doctor 5 days after his fever had the doctor suspecting that it could have been dengue; and only because, any fever lasting more than 3 days, even a mild one was asymptomatic of dengue.

But seeing how active he was when the doctor saw him, he said it may not be even though he did say that the there was a possibility of a mutated version of dengue. He cautioned us to monitor his condition instead. 

Squirt was extremely whiney the next day, complaining of pain. We had thought it was from the rabies jab he had gotten the day before and so, we did not think anything more of it. His fever was quite mild, and I even thought that he was just exaggerating. Given my exhaustion from work and having to tend to him night after night when he had his fever, I raised my voice at him to stop his nonsense when he would not stop whining after half an hour. We brought him to school after almost a week of absence, thinking that he was already getting better. (And he wanted to be in school, too).

Not an hour after I settled in the office, I got a call from his teacher who told me that Squirt broke out in massive rash. She told me that he got watery, red eyes and was a little lethargic, even though he still had the energy to play with his friends. She had to isolate him, just in case. I quickly packed up, rushed to pick him up, called Silver Bullet and brought him to the hospital. A blood test was done and within the hour, the diagnosis was confirmed. It was bloody damn dengue! Damn bloody mossies!

Oh! The guilt for screaming at him in the morning! Fortunately for all of us, it was not a serious case of dengue. There was no hemorrhagic fever. He was just told to go home, take a lot of rest and to drink a lot of fluid as there is no medication for dengue. I stayed home that day…the guilt of raising y voice at him that morning crept in. He was quite a sorry sight and I just wanted to cuddle up with him. For Squirt, he loves the cuddles. He got to watch cartoons, drink Gatorade, do squat all day and got all pampered. Quite a life, I must say! 

He has since recovered and back to his normal, cheerful self. A few days later, his sister got sick. At least it wasn’t dengue. 

My sanity has been severely challenged in the past few weeks. I’ve been ultra snappy; to the kids (especially to the kids!), to Silver Bullet and to a certain extent, my staff (which I’m keeping in check to maintain that stoic professionalism). Unnecessary inconveniences do not bode well with me these days.  Sometimes I just want to scream, especially at those who mostly cruise along but having the nerve to complain of how much they have to do and how tired they are. I feel like I could implode. 

Exhaustion has fully consumed me and apart from the kids being better, I am not seeing any respite from the work front. Right in front of me, I have an avalanche of crap I have to go through to get to the other side, hopefully unscathed…

…as a an employee, as a leader, as a mentor, a career woman, a wife and a mother, who in the midst of it all is just trying to find a little time on the side to cook, juggle home-matters, to blog and getting just about enough sleep to get through the day.

It’s been a crazy September. All I can say is that the last quarter of the year is promising to be one hell of a ride!