December 4, 2012

A mom’s wisdom

Category: Being Parents
[This post is dedicated to my mommy friends who are looking for strength to get through some of their darkest moments] 

It is always heart-wrenching to hear stories of babies having to go through surgery that has to be done under general anesthetic. After several months of being on medication to fight off the infection in the hope of preventing any surgery since Baby K was six weeks old, the inevitable had mandated that a surgery would be necessary.  

Any surgery, no matter how minor, would always be the cause of anxiety, and as mothers, the worrying never stops. I cannot imagine how painful, terrified, not to mention stressed, a mother (or any parents for that matter) would feel under such circumstances. Tears welled-up in my eyes as I read her email – feeling the pain of a mother’s weeping heart.

Nevertheless, the said mommy friend who shared her story spurred another mommy friend to share a tip on coping with such feelings. It brought a lump to my throat reading what she said, and I thought I’d share this with you readers out there. This was what she wrote:

“I was talking last night with one of my best friend whose son went through a surgery when he was a few months old. He needed general anesthesia as well. She said that to cope with the stress and to reassure him (and needless to say to make herself feel better too), she decided to consider the day of the surgery as just another day. Instead, she focused on the day after the surgery, celebrating with him and his great health with presents, treats and a bag of new toys.
She said it gave her a new perspective. Surgery became the minor point, as she became so excited preparing for his return with them back home.”

This mom then continued with her words of encouragement:

“Your son is tough, make him see the surgery as a little thing – he will have completely forgotten about it right after. The doctors told you it is minor, so no worries. When he grows up, he will hate you recalling on how you were worried with it. He’ll be giving you the teenager eyes “please mom, you know it was nothing –  I don’t even remember it at all””

She then ended her note with this:

“This month is full of celebrations, between Xmas, Hanukkah, Loy Kratong, make it Baby K’s day on Friday, to congratulate the super boy and welcome his perfect health :)”

That lump in my throat made me teared a little bit. Just a little, little bit – I tried really hard keep that “I’m tough and I won’t cry look!“,  as I was reading the mail at my desk.
It is stories like that that keeps one going. It is a nice piece; a story that allows you to take on a different perspective in life. One thing that strikes a chord with me is the fact that she mentioned on the month of December being the month of celebration. It made me take a step back and realized what she said was so true; but I have been so wrapped up in my own little corporate-busy-world that I had failed to see that. I ought to be so ashamed of myself.
Such is the virtue of a mother’s wisdom.It is sometimes just the strength and support pillar we need to get through some of the darkest hours of motherhood.
As for our dear mommy friend, Rice Paddy Field, our thoughts and well-wishes are with you and looking forward to see Baby K bouncing about in the next few days with his brand new butt!

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