August 24, 2011

No-want Momma mode

Category: Baby Milestones

Even with a vocabulary that is mainly consisting of utter gobbledygooks, Spud still can, without a doubt,  make her preference very clear…

… like when she expressed her displeasure with a “gahhh!”, and at the same vehemently turned away and even refusing to look at her mother as she clung on tightly onto her Papa.

Not just once, but many, many times over last weekend.

I can play alongside with her, no problem! But, no matter what and how I tried, Spud would not want me to carry her at all. She was all into her Papa and the moment I showed any indication of taking over, or even wanting to carry her in the Mei-Tai, she threw a fit until Silver Bullet takes over. Never mind trying to feed her that day.

Given that it was the first rejection ever, I have to admit that it was quite a big, tight slap on the face! Never mind the fact that I endured all 9 months and several months after that slaving over her, or the fact that I rush home every day just so that I can spend some time with her and put her to bed or that I painstakingly prepared her meals. I mean, my child, for no apparent reason (and not that I was in a foul mood or been scolding her or anything like that) has decided, just out of the blue and basically demanded for her mother to go take a hike.

Suddenly, just like that, Momma is out and Papa is in!

It is not as if that I am jealous that Spud showed a preference for her father; in fact, I love it that both father and child bond really well and that Spud takes to Silver Bullet so very fine. But, to suddenly get rejected like that, man! that kind of hurt.

From the onset, I know it is nothing personal, and I know that I should never take such things personally. I reckon, Spud is probably going through one of those unexplainable toddler phases. However, like I said, it still sort of makes me feel a little upset in a pouty sort of way when she decided that somehow, she did not want to have anything to do with me,

Having done some online research, though, I discovered that it is quite common for toddlers to have preferences and go back and forth on their preferred parent as part of their development. I reckon, given that Spud hardly sees Silver Bullet on the weekday, it could also be her way of catching up with her Papa. That being said, I think perhaps, I should make myself scarce more often! (Hmmmmmmmm…)

I also read that one of the likely reasons she does that is probably because she feels total security, and know that I am there for her. Hence, her rejection towards me may in fact mean that she may be feeling quite secure to explore with other people and that apparently translated to me doing a fabulous job as a mother in with making her feel safe. (Wooohoooo!)

So, those are the comforting words I stumbled upon several websites, and, at this stage I can only bask in that comfort that this is just a phase, And if it isn’t, I guess I should take it in another perspective – her rejection will actually allow me the time to do other things (Woooohoooo!)

Babies and toddlers are such mysteries. And I guess, my little girl is just showing some signs of growing up…

Who would have thought that Spud can be as fickle, if not more than our cats!


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Comments
  1. Vicky

    Don’t worry too much about it.

    Maybe it’s the smell from your clothes from cooking all that curry 😉

    And that is such a nice pix of her! 🙂

  2. You know…THAT actually crossed my mind fleetingly, but I didn’t think that tiny nose of her could be that sensitive to my curry smell!

  3. Vicky

    Depends from nose to nose, mine’s super sensitive! ;D

    And you are right about looking at it in a different perspective (tho its heartache at first) as no point forcing a situation where both will be miserable 🙁

    Take it as you will have more time to catch up on your chores, errands and (some would say ‘god forbid’) have a (beauty) day out on your own! 😉

  4. Sometimes I wish I had an off day like that, Nend. Imagine BOTH boys clinging on. One on each leg….and when I cuddle one, the other comes charging.

    I read somewhere that boys cling on to their mums, and girls to their dads till about 5. At that age, they start gender association and will imitate the parent of their own gender, taking him/her as a role model. So in times like these, I tell myself to treasure those moments when they still ‘want’ me!

    All sorts of theories out there, but one thing is for sure – they just keep you guessing!

  5. Indeed…and I guess it can only get interesting!

    You’ve got 2 boys, and as theories have it, boys will always be mommy’s boys, so I guess they’ll clong on you for a long while longer! 😀

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